Beyond Limits Ultra 2016

Warning:  the following contains massive “hobby jogger phyco dribble” and little race analysis.  As usual my race reports contain more narrative of random mind drift during the event rather than analysis of pace, nutrition, and gear options.  If you find the described style to be annoying or corny, please save your time and skip the report.

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It has been over a year since I’ve rambled on these pages.  Since the previous entry re:GY100, I’ve completed 9 more marathons states which brings to the current total to 47 states!  I completed the Born to Run 100 in 2015 and suffered my first official DNF (although UltraSignup has me listed as DNS) at the Pinhoti 100.  I have experienced such growth in this year.  Through the success but mostly through the failures, I continue to develop strength and toughness.  The failure at Pinhoti in particular showed me my vulnerabilities and gave me the additional motivation to work harder.

Sometime earlier this year I signed up for the 100 at Beyond Limits Ultra (BLU) held in Mountain Center, California.  Aud had run her first 50 miler on this beautiful 2 mile loop course in 2015.  Set on Pathfinder Ranch at an elevation of about 4,500 feet, the dirt course of a nice blend of single track as well as well-groomed horse trails.  It is surrounded by woods, mountains, and crisp clean air.  In addition to it’s beauty, the ranch offers heated cabin, hot showers (with real restrooms on-course), and even good food for runners and paying guests.

                                     

 

Sometime after I registered, it was announced that the race had added a 72 hour and 48 hour options.  I toyed around with the idea.  The dates (March 31-April 2) were during the kids spring break which offered us the chance for a family “vacation”.  After some discussion with Aud, I “upgraded” for the 72 hour race, (gulp).  My rationale was that it’d give me some confidence should I choose to do something even more extreme in the future such as a 200 mile race.  BLU offered the best “baby step” for even bigger and scarier stuff.  My main goal for this race was two folds.

1.       Run three days with gratitude and love in my heart, run my best

2.       Take the opportunity of this race to raise money for the Cancer Research Institute

I hoped that by achieving those two goals, I can honor those around me who are doing the hard work of fighting cancer.  I knew by keeping their struggles in mind, that it would provide perspective and motivation for me to run beyond my own perceived limits.

Day 0 – Arriving at Pathfinder on Wed afternoon

The Ranch is about 2.5 hour drive from Orange County.  Once we passed Temecula you really begin to notice the barrenness of the high desert.  Miles of boulder scattered dessert intertwined with various ranches big and small finally winding us to the foothills of Mountain Center.  The temperature was now in the mid 40s and mild SNOW! was drifting upon our car windshield.  We arrived at Pathfinder around 2:00PM and was greeted by the race directors Stephanie and Ken as they were busy just starting to set up for the extravaganza that was going to take over the quiet ranch for the next three days.  After exchanging pleasantries and receiving my bib, we were off to our cabin and to set up our pop-up, table, and chairs on the course route.  Learning from our experience in the previous year, we selected the ideal location near our cabin and facilities.  The kids bolted out to explore the grounds while we got busy getting everything in place. 

 

The night concluded with a group dinner at the cafeteria of Pathfinder Ranch.  We mingled somewhat with the other runners then it was off to an early night of sleep in preparation of the three days to come.  I slept surprisingly well, mentally contempt with the acceptance of “whatever happens happens.”  I slept for 10 big hours that night.  Longer than I have in some time.

Day 1 – Fast Start

An awesome breakfast was served at 7 at the ranch cafeteria.  It was my last chance for a good amount of protein.  Scramble eggs, bacon, pancake and coffee then it was off for last minute preparation before the 10:00am (a bit late IMO) start.  I’ve taken the lessons learned in the last several ultras and taken extra time to prep for feet care and preventative measures against chafing.  All of the homework paid off well for the entirety of BLU.  No blister after 72 hours and no chafing anywhere on my body. 

The race promptly started at 10 after the group photo op and I felt really great from the start.  I utilized a new run/walk routine at BLU which was 20 minutes of running followed by 2 minutes of walking.  The course I relatively flat with the exception of 2 or 3 20-30 feet climbs each loop.  The walk run ratio also worked well with the 2 mile loop.  In the beginning of the first day, a lot of my walk coincided with arrival back at the aid station.  I would stick to this run/walk ration for the first 50 miles.

 

Feeling great and moving, I ate every 4 miles (2 loops).  The tightness associated with depletion did not appear until almost mile 30.  Really paying attention to my body, I adjusted the amount of carb and salt intake to combat the issue by feel.  Salt tabs also helped especially during the hotter afternoon.  I reached mile 50 with a PR of 10:35 while purposely running easy and in “all day” gear.  At 50, feet up, food, Starbucks, change of cloth (night gear) and 30 minutes in the lounge chair at my tent helped revive my energy.  By as early as 5 PM the temperature started declining rapidly.  The night clothing I prepared kept me very comfortable even with the high 30s temperature at night.  I knew this would be the coldest of the three nights and I was prepared.  After dealing with the hypothermic cold at Graveyard, I was well covered.

Moving surprisingly well, I continued until mile 70.  Before I turned in for the night I was still clocking 13-14 minute miles which was considerable for me even compared to the other runners still out there.  But I made the decision to turn in for the night with that good rhythm and momentum.  It was 2AM and I set my alarm for 6AM the next morning.  My goal was to hit 80 miles in the first 24 hours and I knew I had plenty of time to do that the next morning.

After getting up the next morning, I took an additional hour to eat and get ready for the morning.  By the time I hit my first loop it was just past 7:00AM.  3 hours came and went quickly.  By the end of the first 24 hours, I had reached 84 miles. 

Day 2 – Wheel fallen

 

 

 

A few experienced runners had warned that day 2 would be the toughest.  I didn’t doubt them.  But since I had neither experience nor expectation, I just continued to run, and ran by feel.  As the day progressed, the 48 hour race added new characters onto the course.  We traded encouragement and leapfrogged one another in countless patterns over the day.  I moved, ate, rested when I needed.  In around the 90 mile mark I began to feel some discomfort in my right ankle.  The pain gradually increased and by the time I finished my 100^th mile (28:22) it was considerable.  We examined the ankle and adjusted the shoe lacing.  But seeing the early signs of inflammation, I knew trouble was coming.  I had not taken any anti-inflammatory or pain killers and I fought hard not to.  I kept moving with increasing pain.  I used my hiking poles and they provided some relief initially.  But by the time I’ve reached mile 120 I was walking a 23:00 minute mile.  The ankle looked more like a sausage.  It seemed hopeless.
 

 

I was no longer able to move at a “run” pace.  I was so frustrated but fought not to go into that dark place in my mind.  Aud and the other volunteers at the aid station tried to cheer me on but I felt miserable.  I only managed about ½ of the mileage of day 1!  What did I do wrong?  Did I come out too fast?  Should I have walked the decline sections?  While I didn’t commit to a number I thought 200 miles was achievable over the three days.  Now it seem to be slipping far away quickly.  I told Aud that I was done for the night.  It was still so early.  But I didn’t want to waste any more time on the course at that pace.  Instead, I just wanted to regroup and hope, and pray that I’d have a fighting chance the next morning.  I had zero confidence that I would even continue the next morning but I know that the body is capable of amazing things with some rest.  I hoped for a miracle.  So I cleaned up, 800mg of Motrin, and went down for 8 hours that night praying for a functioning wheel in the morning.

Day 3 – Hope, gratitude, and fight

I woke up in the morning and quietly dressed myself and headed outside.  I have learned from the first two days that these are hour are the most enjoyable.  As sun rise you see the colors come back to life in the woods.  The air is brisk and cool.  It almost made me forget about my ankle.  I walked the first two miles of the morning.  The ankle was still stiff but no longer in pain.  I was hopeful.  My body warmed up and the stiffness throughout loosened.  I made my first stop at the aid station.  “Ok ankle, just give me one more day” I said to myself and started some light running.  To my amazement, there was no pain.  I took it very easy and walked a lot.  I avoided rapid up or downs and ran the most runnable sections.  I was so thrilled and grateful to be able to run.  I was grateful simply for being able to move.

 

 

The 100 mile and 24 hour runners started at 8:00AM of day three.  A lot of familiar faces and provided renewed energy on the course.  A lot of my Run It Fast mates were out on the course.  Those who had seen me in my depressed state on the previous night were surprised and happy to see me moving.  I took advantage of pacers and other runners to keep my mind off the pain that I knew would eventually return. 

In running I am mediocre at best.  I entered this race with no expectation to compete with anyone other than myself.  There were some amazingly talented runners at BLU.  But on the evening of Day 3 I found myself somehow in 3^rd place amongst the 72 hour male runners.  I was pleasantly surprised.  But close behind was a far superior runner closing in.  The only reason he was not far ahead was he had just completed a difficult 100 miler 4 days prior to BLU.  People may laugh but I am a competitive guy.  Once I learned of the positioning I wanted to hold on to that third spot.  So I kept moving.

 

 

The night before I thought I'd be lucky if I got to 150 miles in 72 hours.  I kept moving to keep my spot as I crossed 150 miles , then 160 miles, and then into the night fall.  I didn’t bother changing, slapped on a jacket and kept moving.  But as I kept moving, he kept moving.  I have to admit I became somewhat obsessed by the thought of holding him off.  So time kept moving and the laps kept coming.  It was not until 4:00AM and mile 180 when I finally stopped in a delirious and confused state.   I was exhausted.  I cleaned myself up and set my alarm for 2 hours.  I dressed myself ready to run upon the time I’d wake.  I don’t think I’ve ever fell asleep as quickly. 

 

Ten minutes before my alarm time I woke up in a panic.  “He’s out there” I thought.  I called down to the aid station only to confirm that he was indeed on the course.  “Fuck” I thought.  I got out there with the same feverish obsession as the previous night.  But by this time I was only able to walk.  So I walked as quickly as I could and by this time it was at a 16-18 minute pace.  I came into the aid station and asked for the status of other runners.  I was still ahead and in 3^rd place.  I thought it would be difficult based on the spread for him to overtake me with the time remaining.  Whether it was my inability to do math at that point or my insecurity, I kept moving “just in case.”  Slowly and one step at a time, I finally stopped at 188 miles with 30 minutes left on the 72 hour clock.  Third place male, 5^th overall.


Something very special for me was that Athan walked the final lap with me.  He had enjoyed himself thoroughly during the weekend.  All feedback from runners and volunteers what that he had given practically all his time volunteering at the aid station cooking, and serving the runners.  I also heard he was respectful, happy, and a pleasure to be around.  This filled my heart with joy.  We walked together that last lap and we talked a bit.  Nothing really profound was said.  It was just a dad-and-son walk together and being present with one another.  I remember telling him that I loved him and I was happy he was with me. 
 

 

Every 100 miler (or more) changes me in some ways.  I think with more time I will realize the profound effects BLU left upon me spiritually.  I learned a lot about multi day running in this race and I have little doubt that if I can make dramatic improvements if I were to run another.  All together I had an overwhelmingly positive experience that I know I will return to BLU again one day.

A few people must be mentioned as they were instrumental to the experience and my personal fulfillment from BLU.  First, I could not have done it without Aud and her tireless efforts throughout the three days.  She took care of me and other runners throughout the weekend.  She is an amazing woman and I am blessed to have her with me.  Others provided tremendous inspiration for me.  Many completed their personal “firsts” on this course.  Big congrats to Warren, Laura, Dee, Hank, and Sonja who were so inspiring to see fight and conquer.  Lori, Diane, Herve, congrats on your finish and the grit you showed during the race motivated me to keep moving.  Stephanie, Ken, Dave, and Karen, thank you for a wonderful event and your aid, and encouragement throughout the weekend.  Finally, thank you for my friends who were home struggling with things harder than any run.  I thought of you most when I struggled most, and your fight kept me moving until that 188^th mile.

 

One race, one mile, and one step at a time,

 

Jeff

 

Nanny Goat 2014 - Finding Peace and Reward in Failure

5/24/-5/25-2014

"Im done" I said as I crossed the threshold at the barn for the 50th time.
Those were not the words I expected to utter and this isn't the blog entry I expected to write today. 

The 2014 Nanny Goat 12/24/100 ultra two days ago was my 40th lifetime marathon+ race and also my first DNF, drop down, or whatever you may want to call it.  It was a humbling experience.  It was also no less rewarding than when I was fortunate enough to buckle in 2013.

goats in the pen

 

2014 medal

 

This year's NG100 was about #wifey (Diva) and her awesome teammates Vinay (Tall) and Stacey (Blonde), Team TBD - Tall, Blonde, and Diva running their first relay 100 miler raising money for the Semper Fi Fund for injured Marines. 

 

Semper Fi Fund (with Andrea post race)

The three of them crewed and paced me at the 2013 Nanny Goat and caught the bug.  I am so proud of all of them for the training and dedication they put in to get ready for their individual 34 mile commitment.  It had been many years since wifey's last marathon and her work ethic leading up to the event was unbelievable...  In many ways her renewed interest in running has brought us closer together...

wifey powering through the barn

 

 

Team TBD raised over $1,100 for the Semper Fi Fund and completed the 100 miler under 20 hours.  It was a fantastic effort and a joy to watch all three of them soaking in the ultra experience.  Wifey is already talking about next year...  oh boy, I don't know what I've created here :)

 

Team TBD 100 mile relay finishers!



 

This year's NG100 was another step in my growth as an ultra runner.  Before the race, I made sure that it was known that this year was not a year about me or my run.  But secretly, I thought that it would be very cool to get that black buckle.  I am in the best physical shape of my life.  I've put in more miles this year than ever and I am as "running fit" as I've ever been. 

 

In faint memory I had forgotten the wise words of Katrina Judd (paraphrased) "you have to see if you REALLY want the buckle or you liked the idea of having the buckle."  I was reminded this weekend that if you are not fully committed to do whatever it takes to finish the 100 miles, it isn't likely to happen.  I can sit here today and tell you that I dropped because I didn't want to get injured for races that are coming up shortly.  I can tell you that I had major stomach issues on race day.  I can tell you I was hampered by blistered feet and on and on.  But the bottom line and honest truth is I was not tough enough in that moment in time.  I didn't have it.

 

I am disappointed but I don't regret the decision.  For one, other than torn up feet, I feel fantastic two days after the race with next to no soreness.  I ran 50 miles NSAIDs free!  While I didn't finish, the DNF didn't knock my confidence.  I know I am fit and ready to tackle similar or bigger challenges.  I've now got renewed fire in the basement to redeem myself from my first DNF...  and that's something that has been missing for a while.  But, the biggest reason I do not regret the shorten race is I got a chance to give back to Nanny Goat and the running community the way that they had helped me last year.

 

After my decision to drop I showered and cleaned up.  OF COURSE on my walk back to the barn I run into Andrea, Tony, Tracy, and Jean on the course.  Having to fess up to my drop I was met with reactions ranging from disbelieve to disappointment to sympathy.  After my walk of shame back to the barn I just wanted to hide and sleep.  But the excitement and energy inside the barn makes it difficult for me to sulk in the corner.  I ate, sat, and chatted a bit with my stall-mates.  I was excited to see wifey surpass the marathon mark and decided to pace her 30-33 miles.  I was surprised at how fresh my legs felt. 

 

When they were done, the team packed up their belongings and left the race early in the morning.  "Im going to stay to watch Jaeson's finish" I said.  My friend Jaeson flew in from Atlanta for his first 100 miler.  I met Jaeson a few years back and we've run a handful of marathons together.  When he became ready for the 100 last year we got to talking about NG and he came out seeking his first buckle.  This guy is one tough dude.  He plugged away miles after mile.  He'd stop in the stall for short breaks but was always upbeat and looked determined.

 

wifey, me and Jaeson pre-race

 

At this point I was exhausted.  I calculated Jaeson's finish time and set my alarm for an hour nap so I would wake up when he would be at about 90 miles.  I am not sure if I got any actual sleep.  But I woke up with renewed energy and a new mission.  I remember how I felt last year and the encouragement of the spectators and the support of pacers really helped me complete the race.  So I decided that I would run, walk and chat with whoever was still grinding it out on the course in the last 4-5 hours of the race.

 

Right away I saw Tony at mile 89 and he was by himself and looked worn.  He braved a smile as he entered the barn but I could tell he was struggling.  Tony had paced me last year in my final 5K.  I never forgot.  I said, "lets go Tony, I've got you."  I told him that he is a rock star and that I just wanted to bask in the glory of his finish.

 

caption this

 

Tony at mile 95





We walked for few miles and he went through the up-and-downs of what the final miles do mentally.  I made sure he ate, drank, and paced his progress.  I am so thrilled and honored to have been a part of Tony's redemption (third attempt at NG) race.  Congrats on earning that baby blue buckle buddy.

tony at 99 around every one's favorite cone

 

The finish...  look at the joy!

 

 

 

I had the pleasure of meeting Jose and pacing one of his final miles before his finish.  Thanks you for sharing your Nanny journey with me and your insight about your WS finish.  Epic stuff that is truly inspirational.



with Jose with just a few miles to go

 

There was still Jaeson working hard out there.  I managed a few more miles with him and his friends who flew out from Atlanta to see his epic race.  Again, I am honored to be a part of his journey.

 

Jaeson at mile 95

 





Jaeson and the entourage at mile 99

and the epic finish

 

 

As I look back at the 2014 NG, I think I walked away gaining more than I lost.  I learned more about myself as ultras always tend to help one do.  I also feel fulfilled in giving back in a small way to the community.  All is not lost with a DNF.  And I will be back.  Perhaps, some day.

 

one race, one mile, one step at a time,

 

Jeff