Run at Redemption - Lean Horse 100 2014

8/25/2014


Lean Horse 100 Ultra

The woods stay the same, but what you see is a reflection of your mind.

South Dakota marks my 36th State of this journey of marathons (or greater) across the 50 states.  There were a few reasons I chose this race and distance besides what my wife believe is my proclivity for punishment.  Besides well timing and my fair physical conditioning, I had some unfinished business with the 100 mile distance.  After being literally destroyed at the 2013 Nanny Goat 100, then dropping down to the 50 miler at the Nanny 2014, I had something to prove to myself.  Did I get lucky in 2013?  Was it a fluke?  My confidence was a bit shaken and I needed to prove to myself that I can.

My friend, Joshua Holmes, told me about Lean Horse 100 sometime earlier this year.  "LH is a fast trail, I call it a track...my most favorite surface ever to run on."  Joshua is a super strong and experienced ultra runner who I bother often and trust for advice.  I also see him as sort of a drug dealer of ultra running...instead of slinging crack, he dishes out bigger and badder ultra races for the running addicts.

I was convinced this would be my 36th State after some further research.  99% of the race course is run on the Mickelson Trail on crushed limestone and gravel.  The course is an out-and-back on the trail built on what would have been rail from the gold rush era.  It includes breathtaking rail bridges and tunnels and is surrounded by mountains, rivers, and wildlife of all kinds.  On my run, I would experience the beauty that is South Dakota as well as traveled a bit back in time in history.

I faced one problem before I would commit to this adventure.  I was badly injured after early June when I ran five marathons in five days in the Heartland Series.  For the first time in years I was forced to rest for a few weeks.  Those tough few weeks in June may have been a blessing as my legs finally had a chance to really rest.  By July I was finally cleared by my doctor and what do you know, I went out and signed up for the 100 miler the same day.

Typically I try to minimize the amount of days away from the family when I travel for running.  Typically for a Sunday marathon, I would travel out Sat, run Sun morning, then return immediately after the run on Sun afternoon.  Well, running an ultra gets a little challenging.  I had to ask my wonderful wife for a special hall pass for Lean Horse.  In theory, I could have traveled out Friday, ran the race Sat-Sun, then flew home Sun afternoon.  The issue is that plan would put a lot of pressure on me to finish the race well so not to miss a Sun flight.  Also, I had concerns about my ability to drive (or function for that matter) immediately following a sleepless 24-30 hour 100 mile race.  A special hall pass was granted for a Monday return.  Did I mention my wife is wonderful?

"Eat a sandwich, love, your marathon widow" A nice find in my bag when I left for LH100

Custer is a small town about 30 minutes south of Mount Rushmore and is the start and end of the Lean Horse 100.  The logistics consists of a short 1.25 hour drive from Rapid City to Custer on the open highways surrounded by the smell of pine and rolling hills.  I don't know why the sky always seems more blue and vivid when I am in a new experience.  A side tour on Friday to Rushmore was worth the $11 parking fee at the monument.  In the town of Custer, the hotels, restaurants are literally 5 minutes from race packet pickup and the race start.  Its a neat, friendly, self-containing little town with a lot of charm.  It would be a great place for the outdoors loving family and history buffs.

I arrived in Custer on Friday afternoon as planned and met the race director, Royce Wuertzer, who I've been in communications with since July at the packet pick-up at the Custer YMCA.  Shook my hand and when I said my name he immediately recalled we had exchanged emails.  There is something very special about smaller marathons and ultra races.  The community that they built is vastly different from those of big city marathons.  At small marathons and ultras, I meet exceedingly interesting people, amazing athletes, and sometime make new lifelong friends.  I need to praise Royce, the LH team, and volunteers for a top notch job organizing and supporting the runners.  The personal attention from pre-race, at every aid station, and post race was AMAZING.  I hope I don't wear that word out before the end of this blog post.

Receiving my buckle and AG award post race with LH100 RD Royce Wuertzer 

An early dinner at a surprisingly fantastic brewery (without beer) called "Bitter Elma's" included an outstanding pasta and ginger ale.  I vowed to return on Sunday for a pint of some amazing on-location brewed IPA.  Oh yeah, it would come true.  Then off to bed at about 7:00PM before a 4:00AM wake-up call.

5:30AM, most runners had gathered at the start and I met a few runners who Joshua had introduced to me on-line prior to the race.  We exchanged pleasantries and encouragement but the tension was as noticeable as the slight chill in the air in the Custer High School football stadium where we awaited our start.  59 were about to embark on the 100 mile journey with a 30 hour limit.  Together with the 50 mile and 50K runners we were off at 6:00 dusk prompt into the smoky hills of Mickelson trail.

Pre-Race LH100 2014

As the race started I reminded myself why I was there, how I am going to do it, and most importantly to enjoy the journey.  I've learned something at every race I've run regardless of the distance and I would apply what I knew at each mile, each section, and each obstacle during the race.  I ran the first quarter of the race at an easy and controlled pace of about 12:00/mile.  I met Mike the school teach and cross-country coach, "red/white/blue" Ann (who I later watched finish an emotional 100 in the final hour of cut-off), and "marathon maniac" Jill in these early morning miles while exchanging stories about running.  The heavy over-cast was more than I could have asked for.  Looked like we missed the predicted storm.

early morning miles

Crazy Horse Monument in distance

I've never been exceptionally good at fueling at ultras.  Gels and sports drink work for my muscles but not my stomach.  In the first half of this race I alternated between gels and solid food provided at the aid stations, each roughly 5 miles apart.  As predicted, my stomach started cramping after the 25 mile mark.  I can think of nothing worse than running with the worry that I may poop my pants.  The positive was that after the 25 mile marker, the field thinned significantly.  While I ran mostly alone from miles 25 forward I felt VERY uncomfortable in 4 attempts at doing my business (slightly) off the trail.  For one, sometimes there were just no space to pull off and I was never good at identifying poisonous plants.  Also, periodically a mountain biker would show up unexpectedly and quickly.  At last the stomach settled down after about mile 35.

The climb from about 5,200 to 6,200 feet from miles 45-50 was mentally draining as the sky cleared and sun beamed harshly after mile 40.  "Just keep moving" was the voice in my head as my running mentor Richard "Shifu" Yiap had repeated to me many times.  So I ran where I could and walked (fast) when I needed.  Even during the tough stretches, I was able to manage some 15-16 min miles.  The game plan was to take no significant breaks before mile 50 and I mostly stuck to it.  Some things I'd have to "earn" by getting to the half way point.  A 15-20 minute break at mile 50 along with fresh clothing, shoes was rejuvenating.  Really enjoyed my first larger meal of instant ramen, a cup of coffee, and also earned the right to music at 50.  Time out of turnaround station, roughly 11 hours, 40 minutes.

With some hip-hop in my ear, new cloths, and a meal in my belly, I felt great... and moved faster...  for a short lived 4-5 miles.  For me, feeling good is a bigger problem than feeling bad.  When I feel good, stupid ideas of unrealistic and unnecessary goals begins to creep in.  "what if I ran sub 24?" "what if I can pass that runner in front?" "how do I keep that runner behind?"  These are the trappings that puts unnecessary pressure on me mentally and destroys me physically.

By the time I reached the next station, I was drained.  For a brief moment, and the only time during this race, I thought "I can't do this."  When that thought appears in the mind of (this) a runner, it is like chink in the armor that leads to a floodgate of negative thoughts. "you are not made for this" "see how stupid you look now" "you still have 45 miles to go!"...  I sat and stewed at the aid station of mile 55.

"stick to the plan," "there is no hurry" said ShiFu's voice.  I swear! like a montage from the movie Kung Fu Panda.  We had run countless times at lunch prior to the race and those were the words he said over and over.  So I ate, filled my water bottles, and hit the trail again "not in a hurry" and just focused on keeping on moving.  Whenever the idea going faster would creep in, I would say out loud to myself "there is no hurry, just keep moving."  Thank goodness there were nobody around to see this maniac talking to himself.

Mickelson Trail SD 30 minutes before night fall

Soon the night fell.  The majestic mountains changed hues from green to sage and sky from blue to red then deep purple.  By 8PM Sat night, 14 hours of running, there was just a twilight in the sky to the west.  Then complete darkness.  With a crescent moon, there was not a light besides the millions of stars in the sky.  I wish I had the time or frame of mind to stop and enjoy the stars.  I felt incredibly small...smaller than a dust moving under the star studded sky.  But while small, I was not drifting...I was moving with a purpose.

Running through the night in these woods was an incredible, soul changing first-time experience for me.  The woods stay the same, but what you see is a reflection of your mind.  From station to station I ran, no crew, no pacers, just me, the Mickelson Trail, the darkness, the stars, and too much time inside my head.  I saw eyes staring back from the darkness and heard large animals imaginary and real.  I heard wind that sounded like cries and shadows that looked like hands reaching onto the trail.  I ran scared, pridefully, lonely, angry, sad, and finally peacefully.  I just focused on one thing.  Keep moving. (I saw and heard a lot of imaginary things that night.  funniest had to be smelling BBQ pork sausages before mile 80 but NOWHERE near an aid station or signs of human life.  Its funny b/c I said out loud "its not real")

From 70 and beyond I ran sufficiently and felt stronger as I went.  I walked when needed and ate when hungry at every station.  The cheese quesadilla at the Mystic station was so good it made me want to cry.  After Mystic I passed my first runner in the night fall.  It scared the shit out of me.  In the distance I saw a floating light but moving from side to side.  I am not sure why this guy decided that waving his hand held flashlight was the best way to survey the trail but I thought I was going to be abducted by aliens.  As I got closer and closer I finally realized that it was a fellow runner.  I gave some words of encouragement and made sure he was okay. "my strategy is to alternate between walking and walking" he said.  Made me chuckle.

@ mile 85 aid station.  amazing tomato soup, Campbell style

As I forged forward, those gentle downhills on the way out seem to have turned into aggressive climbs on the way back.  "just keep moving" I said.  I hope the wild animals enjoyed my rendition of some New Edition and even some Eminem because I know most humans would not.  But it kept me moving.  As I moved, I came across more moving lights ahead as I passed more than a dozen runners after mile 80.   I was surprised at how many runners were struggling in these final miles.  I was more surprised at how good I felt.  I felt so good that I began running more and more.  With the end in sight I let go of fear of breaking down and ran it fast.

In the last ten miles I ran down more and more of those glowing lights ahead.  Some were unrelenting as they realized my approach.  It became a game of chase in the darkness.  I'd see a light ahead surge away then get closer as I pushed.  As I passed I'd aways encourage with "way to grind it out" or "great work, you are doing great."

Miles 90 to 96 was the final climb before 4.4 mile descend back to the finish line.  I worked hard up these hills and awaited for the second sunrise.  It was beautiful.  I felt a rush of emotions as I got to the top of mile 96.  The station at 96 was the only one I passed altogether without stopping.  I just wanted to finish.  On my way down from Crazy Horse to Custer I saw deers roaming the fields, birds in the ponds, and the fields coming back to life.  I should be dead tired but I never felt so alive.  I ran down those last few miles at 12 min/mile splits and kept moving.  Looking at my watch I saw that I would finish under 25 hours.  Nearly 3 hours under my previous 100 mile finish.

second sunrise

Was this really happening?  Maybe I'd wake up and have to run Lean Horse for real now.  I pushed and kept looking for the final turn off the trail as my watch showed that 25th hour expiring.  Finally it appeared in the near distance.  If not for a well placed sign, I wouldn't recognize the turn out that I had crossed more than a day prior.  With a left turn I had returned to Custer High's stadium.  With one very long final lap around the field I crossed the finish at 24:55.  There was Royce and two time keepers who gave the best fanfare three people can give.  This time around there were no cowbells, no family and friends, and no tears.  There was just me and a finish I can be proud of.

The first buckle was no fluke.  I am an (pedestrian but) ultra runner.

Buckle, AG Award, and "bitter elm's" IPA

Four hours later after a shower, meal and quick nap, I returned to a packed Custer High Stadium to watch and cheer for the final hour 100 mile finishes (an incredible 50/59 would finish).  For my friends who have never witnessed an ultra marathon, I encourage you do the same one day in the future.  Because if you want to witness the spirit of the human will, thats where you'll find it.  As the last runner crossed the finish just under 30 hours and nearly collapsing after (but not before stopping his garmin!), I couldn't help to feel the deep happiness for them and within myself.

one race, one mile, one step at a time,

Jeff

special thanks to Joshua Holmes, Ethan Matyas, ShiFu Richard Yiap (not on social media) and of course Aud Liu for your support for making LH100 a reality

The 2013 Nanny Goat 100 - An Unforgettable Experience

Nanny Goat 100 Mile Run.  5/25/2013 - 5/26/2013

With new friends.  Sorry for not pulling off "the Zato" Gotta give the rookie one pass.

Nanny Goat 12H/24H/100

Raising Funds for the WWP

The Barn - Start/Finish of the 1 mile loop.  

I just finished the Nanny Goat 100 mile ultra run.  It was the most difficult physical, mental, and emotional activity I’ve ever attempted.  I want to share this journey with those of you who may wonder what it is like to attempt the distance of 100 miles on foot.  I also hope to share with you the ups and downs in my mind’s space before and during the journey.

I’ve often said, “I don’t set goals to fail them.”  It’s not meant to be a boastful.  It is something I truly believe in and reach for.  Maybe it’s just my way of psyching me up for a challenge.  I love things that are difficult, just out of reach enough to be a challenge.  And the Nanny Goat 100 was definitely a stretch challenge…   a gigantic challenge.  I am an average guy, an average (pedestrian) runner, but I refuse to be constrained by limitations.

I got through this run with the wonderful support I received before and during the race.  I got through this run by digging deep inside.  By this I mean using both positive inspirations and the negative ones as fuel as I often do.  In the spirit of the 100 miles, I have come up with 100 people, things, or thoughts that have either directly or indirectly supported; brought me joy, inspiration, or fuel to burn in preparation and during this race.

My stall-mates, amazing runners Mitch Chan, Joshua Holmes, Katrina Mumaw, Colleen Zato, and Eric Waterman

With Colleen and Mitch 

Colleen and Katrina made the stall feel like home

Meeting the great Jester

With Mitch and Giovanni

(For those who are not familiar, The Nanny Goat Ultra is a 12 Hour, 24 Hour, or 100 mile footrace around a 1 mile loop around a private ranch in Riverside, CA.  Yes, an one mile loop...  )

Pre-race with Eric

Pre-Race with Andrea

Mile 1 - Ben and Julia Chan.  Our long time and dear friends, thank you for your visit @ Nanny and taking Ayn for the night!  Thanks for being so kind to our family throughout the years and thank you for your generous donation to the Wounded Warrior Project!
(Crap, is this really happening?  Crap!  forgot my sunblock!) 10:49

Mile 2 - Nelson Au.  One of our most charming and successful friends and one I call “biggggggy boy.”  Thank you for your generous donation.  Hope all is well and you are conquering whichever part of the world you travel.
(Exciting start to the race.  A little intimidating to be surrounded by all these amazing runners.  I'm thinking, "I'm in over my head?") 10:45

Mile 3 - Jimmy Pham.  One of the nicest people around.  We need to play "heart attack" for beer again soon brother!  Thanks for your generous donation the the WWP.
(Getting a feel for the course, the grass section with soft unleveled footing presented major problems...  especially at night) 11:35


Mile 4 - Chris Rush.  Thank you for your more than generous donation to the WWP.  We shall survive that crazy place we call work.
(Feeling really good early on and using my Garmin's Run/Walk alert at 10:00 run and 2:00 walk) 11:25

Mile 5 - Quentin Eng.  Who I've heard much about but only had the pleasure of sharing one run with.  Your story of Boston qualifying is inspirational.  Perhaps one day I can be there as well.  Thank you for your generous donation the the WWP.
(Goal was to run at about 14 minute pace.  Felt like I was running at 12 minute pace.  Ran these early miles at < 11:30 pace.  Trouble ahead) 11:03

Mile 6 - Lei and Dave Kirgan.  Our dear friends who we share the love for running, food, and drinking (ha, yes in that order).  Thanks for your friendship, love and support.  Thank you for your generous donation the the WWP.
(The cloud covering of these early hours have been God-send.  It was supposed to be hot no?) 11:13

Mile 7 - Cannon Chang.  Thank you brother for your donation.  Word of advice for you and your beautiful bride to be…  when your child grows up to be about 8-9 years of age.  Keep a watchful eye out for the whereabouts of lighters and or matches in the house…  I have a feeling…
(Must eat now.  Baby food fruit + PB&J) 11:22

Mile 8 - Katrina Mumaw who I met on this race.  Her advise to me prior to the race was (paraphrasing) "Its a mental race, you've got to decide whether you loved the idea of being a buckle holder or you really want to be a buckle holder."  Thank you for that.
(I do believe I am already being lapped by some of these amazing runners.  That is okay...  I checked my ego in at the barn.  The goal is to FINISH) 10:47

Mile 9 - "Every race I get into, I hit a wall. In a race that is so long, you hit several walls. Every time you hit a wall, its a big deciding factor, in that race or in your life if you are not running. You have a decision to make. You can stop at that wall or you can go parallel left or right. You are looking for that door, and when you get to that door you have a decision to make 'should I open it or should I keep it closed'? If you keep it closed you've made a decision to quit. If you open that door you've made the decision to carry on with your journey or mission. I always open that door. Because once you open that door your mind resets and gives you a few more miles."- David Goggins 11:14

Mile 10 - Kristen and Dean Wong.  Thank you papa and mama Wong for your generous donation.  You guys are a great example for me in your own efforts in charitable fundraising.  We appreciate your friendship and support over the years!
(The pain in my left foot is giving me concern.  Even with one Aleve I can still feel the sensation.  I forge forward) 11:17

Mile 11 - I was never a big fan of Michael Jordan but his HOF speech showed me what a deeply competitive and driven man looked like inside the heart.  He used every slight, every disappointment, and every obstacle as fuel to accomplish his goals.   11:23

Mile 12 - Roxana and Cedric Chamouille.  Our new friends and such wonderful people.  Thanks for your donation and we are so glad to have your friendship.  And yes, thank for putting up with our stubborn kids!
(Eric Waterman points out to me that the cloud covers are starting to part) 11:20

Mile 13 - Andrea Kooiman’s blog post about the 2012 Nanny Goat 100 pushing me further toward the start line.  Inspirational read!
(I see Andrea on the course, manage to say a few words.  Amazing runner, amazing spirit) 11:14

Mile 14 - Jane Lu.  What can I say, Big Al is a lucky man.  Big Al, lets get that marathon in together!  Thank you very much for your generous donation to the WWP.
(Honey Stinger waffles and coconut water, trying to keep those calories coming) 11:24

Mile 15 - Bob Beachler, our old Boeing buddy who was there when I was  5:00+ marathoner.  Thanks for those miles in Seal Beach and your friendship.  Thank you for your generous donation to the WWP. 12:18

Mile 16 - Ann Chinen.  Thank you so much for your support and generous donation to the WWP, and likely for listening to my wife's complaints about my running madness. 11:55

Mile 17 - Twila Bing.  We sure miss you guys.  At least you don’t have to hear Audrena complain about me during your daily lunch runs!!   Thank you for your friendship and generous donation to the WWP!
(It's officially HOT!  I swap out my bandana for my Sahara hat.  This thing is fantastic!) 12:35

Mile 18 - The return of Twinkies.  I cannot wait to have one.
(S-Cap salt tabs, I take one every hour after about 11:00AM.  Took them about every 40 minutes in through the afternoon) 11:20

Mile 19 - Donna Jacob my fellow 50 Stater and Marathon Maniac.  Always fun and smiling and have been an inspiration to follow in the completion of her 50 States journey and 100 marathon finishes.  Thank you for your friendship and your generous donation to the WWP. 11:57

Mile 20 - The Hat!  We need to go after this Nanny Goat race.  Wet Pastrami Fries (best kept secret) with Orange Bang baby!
("I am 20% done!" I think to myself, oh God...) 11:50

Mile 21 - Melissa Tellez Seifen.  It is awesome to reconnect with you after all these years.  You are doing a great job raising a beautiful family.  Thanks for your support and generous donation.
(Buying these Dirty Girl gaiters for this race was one of the best decisions ever!  There is so much dust, rocks, and stuff on this course!  Anyone thinking about running Nanny NEEDS to get some.) 12:01

Mile 22 - Christopher McDougall ‘s “Born to Run.”  The book that introduced me to chia seeds, barefoot running, and (much more on) running.  Awesome story that provided many hours of entertainment.
(beginning to feel anxious to have my family here.  My food and water on hand are getting low and the rest was in the car off course) 12:19

Mile 23 - Gail Peter Wong.  My gun toting, right-wing loving, bald headed friend.  It’s funny how different yet similar we are after all these years.  I think the best thing we both did for ourselves is finding beautiful, smart, and strong women as our wives.  Thanks for your friendship and the generous donation to the WWP. 12:33

Mile 24 - Linsanity.  An inspiration that an average person can do great things.  A story about believing in yourself and not giving up.  Fingers crossed that the story continues…
("I am almost 1/4 done!"  I think to myself, oh God...) 12:41

Mile 25 - Christopher Bielinski who I met in El Paso in the freezing cold marathon start.  Nicest man who saved me (my nipples to be exact) with 2 band-aids pre-race that morning .  Thank you for your more than generous donation to the WWP.  I hope we will cross paths on the road again.
(Other runners are having veggie burger!?  Amazing what the organizers are offering in terms of food and drink!) 12:07

Mile 26 - My P.E teachers Mr. Chew and Mr. Santana from Macy.  Both taught me and the other boys many life lessons besides sports from sports.
(Marathon Done! Three more to go!) 13:46

Mile 27 - The feeling of awesomeness after a run in 90 degree weather or down-pouring rain.
(Audrena and the kids arrive.  I am relieved!  I immediately "order/ask" her to make me some food as I pass them.  Then immediately felt bad for not being nicer) 12:04

Greeting from the family with signs!

Mile 28 - Kia Running & Walking club.  Looking at the progress every individual have made through the last several years inspires me to reach for my best.  Thank you all very much. 16:35

Mile 29 - Bridgette Adams, who I met through the Kia Running Club.  Although I don’t know Bridgette very well, I do know that besides being a kick ass runner, she is beautiful in person and in spirit.  Thank you very much for your support and generous donation to the WWP! 12:27

(Visit from my best friends Ducky & Sharon!)

Mile 30 - Dr. Albert Saisho for making the proper diagnosis in 2006.  Thank you…
(I make my first sock and shoe change of the day.  I am amazed at how dirty my feet and toes are from the dust!  The KT tape is holding up on the left foot but I am afraid to see what hides underneath. 15:24

Mile 31 - Dr. Herbert Lee for taking care of me since.
(pain from left foot is back, take my second Aleve, what happened to the 12 hour effectiveness?) 14:44

Mile 32 - My torn Achilles as a blessing.  Without it I may not have turned to running.
(Magic's number!) 20:40

Mile 33 - California Beach Sushi.  Can we go tonight?
(Kareem's number!  My favorite player and number of all time.  Yes, I was a Laker fan once upon a time...  I am 1/3 done!)13:21

Mile 34 - Lance Armstrong.  For reminding me that no man should be idolized.  If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is.
(Visit from Ben & Julia!) 16:02

The Chans visit Nanny

Mile 35 - Beverly and Derek Kishida who are the nicest and most grounded people we know.  Thank you for your encouragement and generous donation to the WWP.
(Sharing a mile with my 9 year old son was uplifting)14:35

Mile 36 - Overuse of the word warrior.
(Its about 3:00PM and I am chatting with other runners about why the sun isn't setting fast enough)15:53

Mile 37 - Overuse of the word hero.
(A few miles with Audrena, she told me "you are going to do this, I have no doubt")17:00

Mile 38 - Being a parent is harder than this race.18:54

Mile 39 - Joshua Holmes (AKA Mr. Run It Fast http://runitfast.com/) .  I met Joshua at the Run Like the Wind Marathon in Santa Monica as he passed me MANY times on the looped course.  Thank you for the great advice and encouragement for the 100 mile race.  Love the Run It Fast philosophy.
(Joshua is kicking ass and I've lost count of how many times he has lapped me) 14:43

Mile 40 - Living in Irvine, CA.  The most beautiful city, with perfect weather, and beautiful trails.  There is no other place I’d rather call home. 13:35

Sharing a pop with my boy

Mile 41 - Vibram Five Fingers.  They rock.  They work.  Period.
(Around here I hit my fist wall.  It wasn't the kind of wall I encountered in marathons where it hits you suddenly.  Rather, it was like a quicksand that takes you down slowly where doubts of not finishing began to creep in.  Cramps and pain began to set in and you think about how many more miles there are to run.  All of a sudden 50 seem like a respectable number to stop... I began to understand what Katrina had told me) 13:39

Mile 42 - Arrogant mother f*ckers.
(Seriously, why am I doing this) 12:49

Mile 43 - Coconut water.  So good.
(My co-worker and dear friend Richard arrives.  He rescued me from the quicksand.  Richard ran the next 10 miles with me!  "why are you running these uphills?" "I didn't even notice it!?"  "Look at the experienced runners like the Jester, see where they run and where they walk" Richard was right, with his observations we changed our run walk strategy and it gave me a much needed boost) 18:23

Mile 44 - My Garmin Forerunners.  Hard to put you down. 14:21

Mile 45 - Boston marathon 2013.  Reminder to live, run, and never back down from evil. 14:01

Mile 46 -Boston marathon.  ONE DAY!
(Its beginning to cool and my spirits are lifting) 14:15

Mile 47 - People who front religion like Dean, who coached my son’s basketball team so that his sons can shoot the ball on every possession.  A good reminder that claiming to be religious does not make anyone a good person. 22:22

Mile 48 - Lowlife bosses like Ed Lowe.  A scumbag of a boss I had in my early 20s who made it a point to make each of our day as miserable as his. 13:40

Mile 49 - Idiots who talk too much.  I will refrain from naming my current co-workers. 20:02

Mile 50 - Richard Yiap.  My running partner.  Thank you for running with me throughout this last year.  Your encouragement and words of wisdom has helped me grow as a runner and as a person. 16:20

Richard and me at mile 50

Mile 51 - Mike Laity (aka Yoda).  Bad ass runner.  Thank you for the time we spent running together.  You pushed me to be a better runner.  You are missed on these trails every day.  Looking forward to Montana in July!
(Yeah!  counting down!  49 to go!) 15:22

Mile 52 - My foam roller.  I hate you.  I love you.
(Richard's last lap with me.  I tell myself I will finish this race.  I just ran 2 marathons, Im not letting that go to waste) 14:43

Mile 53 - Howard Choi who I met in El Paso.  Thanks for all the encouragement on tackling the ultra distance.
(Its completely dark.  Out comes the headlamp.  Pray that I don't break my ankle) 20:18

Mile 54 - Thank you Lara “running fox” Michelle, fellow MM for encouraging each other as we started thinking and tackling the ultra distance around the same time.  Awesome job in completing your 100!
(I realize it has passed the 12 hour mark and the field and course had thinned out significantly)23:19

Mile 55 - Whiners.  Shut up.
(Double nickel baby!)15:12

Mile 56 - Vinay, who decided that he would run a marathon and went out and did it.  That’s the spirit I love to see in new runners!  Thanks for pacing me at NG! 17:54

Stacey and Vinay who paced me for 14 miles!!

Mile 57 - Stacey, the running fairy, and future marathoner!  Thanks for pacing me at NG100.  I am glad to have your company and support at Kia!  Best of luck to you and Vinay at the SD marathon. 18:00

Tinker Bell pushing me ahead

Mile 58 - People who say “run Forest run.”  It stopped being funny years ago.
(Sensing more pain from left foot, put off more Aleve as long as I can) 24:14

Mile 59 - Bacon.  For making everything better. 20:15

Mile 60 - Egg on top.  For making everything better.  Why do you think I run?
(Another dose of Aleve, now pain in both feet.  A second sock and shoe change.  I decided to strip the KT tape as the corners began to curl.  Not good.  Left foot is swollen.  Forge on) 21:04

Mile 61 - Hyper-active people.  It’s not you, it’s me.  I can’t keep up.  Please chill.
(I don't know if its mental or real but the Aleve kicks in fast) 23:44

Mile 62 - 50 States Marathon Club.  I am SO that glad I joined the group to chase the dream.  Met amazing people and seen beautiful places big and small.  Turnaround (State #25 - Montana) is just around the corner. 20:03

Visit from our best friends Jay & Jen @ mile 62

Mile 63 - Why is cardio so important?  Because its rule #1! 17:41

Mile 64 - Marathon Maniacs - a group of crazy people like me.  While we are a diverse bunch, we share the love for running and a perspective that others (the normals) do not have.  I especially appreciate all of the cool Maniacs I’ve met.  Even to those I’ve not spoken to, those “go Maniac” sound offs on the routes of the many marathons have all helped me to each finish line. 31:22

Mile 65 - This video to explain the above. 21:12

Mile 66 - Excuses.  Save them.  I don’t need them. 17:53

Mile 67 - People who say they are going to “work up to it.” I say, just do it. 25:32

Mile 68 Ed “the Jester” Ettinghausen.  Ultra veteran who was kind enough to offer his advice and encouragement starting with my first back-to-back marathon, then the 12 hour ultra in Taiwan, and then for the Nanny.  Thank you. 17:43

Mile 69 - “Running on the Sun: The Badwater 135.”  Strangely watching this documentary about the toughest footrace in the world where people vomit and lose toenails didn’t discourage me from the ultra world; it inspired me. 21:18

Mile 70 - Running Troops.  I’ll do my best to live up to “To inspire, to challenge, and to serve.”  Thank you for your generous contribution to the WWP!

(Last lap with Vinay and Stacey.  I hope I was able to communicate my appreciation sufficiently.  They insisted on staying but I said my good-byes.  Time to brace the darkness alone) 18:00

Mile 71 - Waking up at 1, 2, or 3 AM on Sat.  Most difficult part of the weekend long run.

(Made the decision to take a shower.  Best 20 minutes I spent the whole night.  With new clothes, socks, shoes, and lubrication, I feel a major lift in my spirits and a second wind) 37:45

Mile 72 - Tony Ngo.  Aka Uncle “toe-knee” aka Tony the Tiger.  Thanks for coming through once again.  Thanks for your friendship and support.

(Tony Ngo helped me with food and water so that Audrena could get some shut-eye.  You are awesome NGO!) 16:38

Mile 73 - Pete Mingwah.  Thank you for inspiring me to run this race and to live life to its fullest.  "No pacers needed, Nor-Cal's in the house." is what you said to me in our last communication about Nanny.  Your passing was the final straw to my decision to run this race.  RIP. 17:53

Mile 74 - Charlene Ragsdale.  Thank you for all your support, encouragement, and being a sounding board for everything from running to raising kids.  What I love most about you is your compassionate but yet no nonsense personality.  As real as real gets.

(One marathon to go.  I do that every weekend.  Lets do this!) 15:05

Mile 75 - A few friends that we lost touch with.  You know who you are.  We hope you are well.

(I say to myself I've got a 1/4 to go.  I must finish this.  The Korean cup-o-noodle was heavenly) 18:33

Mile 76 - My stall-mates.  The words of encouragement prior to and during the race will never be forgotten. 20:38

Mitch, Katrina, Joshua, Colleen, and me

Mile 77 - Terri Perez, fellow Trooper.  Your encouragement meant the world to me in the late part of this race.  15:44

Mile 78 - Reaching taper weeks.  One of the best feelings in the world.

(whoo, dark brown pee, thats a first) 16:03

Mile 79 - Breaking down during taper week.  One of the worst feelings in the world. 18:06

Mile 80 - "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift." - Steve Prefontaine

(My wonderful wife shares the next 4 miles with me in the dark!) 15:14

Mile 81 - "Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death." - Ayn Rand

(I see many runners who decided to call it a night.  Kind of wishing I was one of them.  But I NEED to forge ahead) 17:57

Mile 82 - #JUSTBRINGIT (how I feel before any race.  Ask me at mile 80… #SURVIVE)

(Having company brought me a third wind.  I am feeling well and no cramps since the 30-50s) 18:42

Mile 83 - #RUNMORE!  Thank you Chuck “Marathon Junkie" Engle, champion marathoner in all 50 states for the phrase.  It is the answer to so many question/problems.

(Holy smoke!  a 14:28 mile!)

Mile 84 - Jean Ho.  Thank you for your countless encouragement @ Nanny especially later in the race.  The love and warmth of the ultra community @ Nanny is something I've never experienced in my years of running marathons. 17:02

Mile 85 - Steve Harvey.  Thank you for organizing this wonderful and unforgettable event.  I wish we had more time to chat and perhaps share a beer or two.  I hope Nanny 2013 won't be the last time we cross paths. 17:24

Mile 86 - Tony Nguyen (AKA Endorphin Dude)’s first attempt at Nanny.  This was one of the very first things that inspired me to want to attempt a 100 mile run.  It was impossible not to be inspired when you see someone leaving it all on the course. 18:22

Mile 87 - Ducky & Jay.  I think our friendship doesn’t need much more explanation.  If ever there was family beyond blood, it would be our families.  Ducky, your donation to the WWP was more than generous!!  OMG! 20:09

Mile 88 - Christina Liu, my little sister who is a grown woman today.  She’s had the courage to do what she’s wanted and be who she wanted to be.  Continue to be you and don’t let them get you down.  Keep it New York.

(Only a half marathon left!) 19:47

Mile 89 - Chevvy.  My brother.  I am very proud of you and what you have been able to accomplish.  The road may not have been easy but you’ve definitely grown from the kid I met years ago to the man that we see today.

(Its been 24 hours since I started running.  I made the 86 mile minimum cut off required at 24 hours.  I am doing the math in my mind.  I think I am safe to finish under the 28 hour cut-off...  unless something catastrophic happens...) 15:41

Mile 90 - My grandma who I miss dearly.  It was only the times I spent with her as a kid that I truly felt spoiled.  I hope you are proud to see the man I am today from above. 17:01

Mile 91 - Mom, who has endure the many struggles in her life.  Then she kicked cancer twice.

(I NEED to maintain a 20 minute mile to complete this mission is ALL I can think of.  I've come too far) 17:50

Mile 90!

Mile 92 - Being a fat kid.  Although looking at photos I was never really a fat kid as I was told so. 18:37

Mile 93 - I was beaten but never broken.

(I am on an island.  There are fewer and fewer runners on the course.  At the "U-turn from hell" part of the course, I don't think I've ever felt so alone.  The death march continues)  16:43

Mile 94 - "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth." - Ayn Rand

(just one foot in front of the other.  Just end the pain) 18:10

Mile 95 - Learning to live in the moment.

(Longest 10K in my life) 18:40

Mile 96 - Learning to appreciate the good things in life.

(I hear the eruptions of cheers from the barn as other runners are obviously finishing their 100th mile.  I am broken.  I feel envy, desperation, pain, near joy..  I think this suffering is strangely peaceful.  The sun is back up for just another day) 20:02

Mile 97 - Seeking emptiness.  I wanted to know if I can give everything I had physically and emotionally and I wanted to know that feeling of being without burden.  

(I think I found it in these last few miles.  For moments, I felt no competitiveness, no rage, and no joy.  Just moving forward...) 20:13

Mile 98 - This mile is for Athan.  I love you kid even though you drive me completely insane at times.  The brightest little boy with endless promise.  I see so much of myself (good and bad) in you and I want nothing but to guide you through what I’ve been through.  You might not understand or fully comprehend our little adventure here today, but I hope it left an impression on you for all the good it represents to me.

(Tony Nguyen found me on the course and paced me through to the end.  Tony, you are the embodiment of goodness in the running community.  Pacing me, a stranger to the very end...  I'm babbling to him and his positive spirits lifts me enough to keep moving forward on the longest 5K in my life) 21:31

Mile 99 - This mile is for Ayn.  As clever and as stubborn as your big brother.  Know that daddy loves you and will always be there for you.  You and your brother bring me endless joy…  when you are good! 

(Tony Nguyen tells me I am a rock star, funny I didn't feel like one at all...) 21:12

With the Tonies, Dennis, and Athan

Mile 100 - I dedicate this mile to my crew chief, my partner, my beautiful wife who had always been my biggest supporter in life and became my biggest supporter in running.  Thank you for being supportive of my crazy goals and having more confidence in my than I did for myself.  This would not be possible without you being there for the months before and the 27:32:12 during the race. 24:12

(I have with me in my entourage a real life super hero (E-Dude Tony), Ms. Run-it-Fast (Katrina), Audrena, Athan, Dennis and Tony Ngo for this final lap around the Nanny Goat 100 course.  To be honest I don't remember too clearly all that was said during the walk.  I do remember rounding the "cone of death" at the dreadful u-turn for the last time...  I asked Athan to turn around and gave it the double finger salute...

As we round the goat pen and toward the finish at the barn, Tony yells "100 mile finisher coming through!"  Athan is holding me up for these final steps to the finish line.  Cowbells go off and the volunteers, remaining ultra runners/supporters cheer, and I am fighting back my tears... (finish video here)

Looking up on the screen to see 100 next to my name

I am a buckle holder

I am finally a 100 mile finisher.  I hug Audrena and I tell her "WE DID IT" and all the pain and emotions hit me at once.  Relief, pride, joy, disbelief....

Truly an experience I will never forget!

one race, one mile, and one step at a time...

Jeff

The Quest for the Buckle

The quest has begun.  Training is in full gear.  And I am quickly coming to the realization that this is no freaking joke.  100 miles...  100 miles...  100 miles...  even the sound of that as it rolls off my tongue is scary, daunting, and seemingly improbable.  Just this past weekend as I finished a short 18 miler I thought to myself, "holy crap 82 miles to go!  No f'in way..."  Now obviously I ran a bit faster than I would have in a 100 and I can probably easily run a few more miles that day but the prospect of finishing a 100 mile run in my current state of fitness is not good.  I'd give myself a 10-20% chance actually finish the race at this point in time.  For the first time in a long time I am very scared.  I am going in without experience on my back and confidence in my heart.

The Nanny Goat 100 buckle

What I do have is four month in front of me and I MUST move that completion % from 10% to say 60-70%.  What I have is a massive amount of respect for the distance and the fear that will keep my training honest.  What I have is 29 marathons, a 45M ultra, and two doubles under my belt to lean on as I approach this epic run.  I MUST have this.  I will have this.  (tell myself enough and I will start to believe??)

Pray for me.

One race, one mile, and one step at a time

Jeff