Showing posts with label Lance Armstrong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lance Armstrong. Show all posts

Monday, May 27, 2013

The 2013 Nanny Goat 100 - An Unforgettable Experience


Nanny Goat 100 Mile Run.  5/25/2013 - 5/26/2013


With new friends.  Sorry for not pulling off "the Zato" Gotta give the rookie one pass.


Nanny Goat 12H/24H/100

Raising Funds for the WWP


The Barn - Start/Finish of the 1 mile loop.  

I just finished the Nanny Goat 100 mile ultra run.  It was the most difficult physical, mental, and emotional activity I’ve ever attempted.  I want to share this journey with those of you who may wonder what it is like to attempt the distance of 100 miles on foot.  I also hope to share with you the ups and downs in my mind’s space before and during the journey.

I’ve often said, “I don’t set goals to fail them.”  It’s not meant to be a boastful.  It is something I truly believe in and reach for.  Maybe it’s just my way of psyching me up for a challenge.  I love things that are difficult, just out of reach enough to be a challenge.  And the Nanny Goat 100 was definitely a stretch challenge…   a gigantic challenge.  I am an average guy, an average (pedestrian) runner, but I refuse to be constrained by limitations.

I got through this run with the wonderful support I received before and during the race.  I got through this run by digging deep inside.  By this I mean using both positive inspirations and the negative ones as fuel as I often do.  In the spirit of the 100 miles, I have come up with 100 people, things, or thoughts that have either directly or indirectly supported; brought me joy, inspiration, or fuel to burn in preparation and during this race.



My stall-mates, amazing runners Mitch Chan, Joshua Holmes, Katrina Mumaw, Colleen Zato, and Eric Waterman
With Colleen and Mitch 
Colleen and Katrina made the stall feel like home


Meeting the great Jester

With Mitch and Giovanni
(For those who are not familiar, The Nanny Goat Ultra is a 12 Hour, 24 Hour, or 100 mile footrace around a 1 mile loop around a private ranch in Riverside, CA.  Yes, an one mile loop...  )
Pre-race with Eric

Pre-Race with Andrea


Mile 1 - Ben and Julia Chan.  Our long time and dear friends, thank you for your visit @ Nanny and taking Ayn for the night!  Thanks for being so kind to our family throughout the years and thank you for your generous donation to the Wounded Warrior Project!
(Crap, is this really happening?  Crap!  forgot my sunblock!) 10:49

Mile 2 - Nelson Au.  One of our most charming and successful friends and one I call “biggggggy boy.”  Thank you for your generous donation.  Hope all is well and you are conquering whichever part of the world you travel.
(Exciting start to the race.  A little intimidating to be surrounded by all these amazing runners.  I'm thinking, "I'm in over my head?") 10:45


Mile 3 - Jimmy Pham.  One of the nicest people around.  We need to play "heart attack" for beer again soon brother!  Thanks for your generous donation the the WWP.
(Getting a feel for the course, the grass section with soft unleveled footing presented major problems...  especially at night) 11:35


Mile 4 - Chris Rush.  Thank you for your more than generous donation to the WWP.  We shall survive that crazy place we call work.
(Feeling really good early on and using my Garmin's Run/Walk alert at 10:00 run and 2:00 walk) 11:25

Mile 5 - Quentin Eng.  Who I've heard much about but only had the pleasure of sharing one run with.  Your story of Boston qualifying is inspirational.  Perhaps one day I can be there as well.  Thank you for your generous donation the the WWP.
(Goal was to run at about 14 minute pace.  Felt like I was running at 12 minute pace.  Ran these early miles at < 11:30 pace.  Trouble ahead) 11:03

Mile 6 - Lei and Dave Kirgan.  Our dear friends who we share the love for running, food, and drinking (ha, yes in that order).  Thanks for your friendship, love and support.  Thank you for your generous donation the the WWP.
(The cloud covering of these early hours have been God-send.  It was supposed to be hot no?) 11:13

Mile 7 - Cannon Chang.  Thank you brother for your donation.  Word of advice for you and your beautiful bride to be…  when your child grows up to be about 8-9 years of age.  Keep a watchful eye out for the whereabouts of lighters and or matches in the house…  I have a feeling…
(Must eat now.  Baby food fruit + PB&J) 11:22

Mile 8 - Katrina Mumaw who I met on this race.  Her advise to me prior to the race was (paraphrasing) "Its a mental race, you've got to decide whether you loved the idea of being a buckle holder or you really want to be a buckle holder."  Thank you for that.
(I do believe I am already being lapped by some of these amazing runners.  That is okay...  I checked my ego in at the barn.  The goal is to FINISH) 10:47

Mile 9 - "Every race I get into, I hit a wall. In a race that is so long, you hit several walls. Every time you hit a wall, its a big deciding factor, in that race or in your life if you are not running. You have a decision to make. You can stop at that wall or you can go parallel left or right. You are looking for that door, and when you get to that door you have a decision to make 'should I open it or should I keep it closed'? If you keep it closed you've made a decision to quit. If you open that door you've made the decision to carry on with your journey or mission. I always open that door. Because once you open that door your mind resets and gives you a few more miles."- David Goggins 11:14

Mile 10 - Kristen and Dean Wong.  Thank you papa and mama Wong for your generous donation.  You guys are a great example for me in your own efforts in charitable fundraising.  We appreciate your friendship and support over the years!
(The pain in my left foot is giving me concern.  Even with one Aleve I can still feel the sensation.  I forge forward) 11:17

Mile 11 - I was never a big fan of Michael Jordan but his HOF speech showed me what a deeply competitive and driven man looked like inside the heart.  He used every slight, every disappointment, and every obstacle as fuel to accomplish his goals.   11:23

Mile 12 - Roxana and Cedric Chamouille.  Our new friends and such wonderful people.  Thanks for your donation and we are so glad to have your friendship.  And yes, thank for putting up with our stubborn kids!
(Eric Waterman points out to me that the cloud covers are starting to part) 11:20

Mile 13 - Andrea Kooiman’s blog post about the 2012 Nanny Goat 100 pushing me further toward the start line.  Inspirational read!
(I see Andrea on the course, manage to say a few words.  Amazing runner, amazing spirit) 11:14

Mile 14 - Jane Lu.  What can I say, Big Al is a lucky man.  Big Al, lets get that marathon in together!  Thank you very much for your generous donation to the WWP.
(Honey Stinger waffles and coconut water, trying to keep those calories coming) 11:24

Mile 15 - Bob Beachler, our old Boeing buddy who was there when I was  5:00+ marathoner.  Thanks for those miles in Seal Beach and your friendship.  Thank you for your generous donation to the WWP. 12:18

Mile 16 - Ann Chinen.  Thank you so much for your support and generous donation to the WWP, and likely for listening to my wife's complaints about my running madness. 11:55

Mile 17 - Twila Bing.  We sure miss you guys.  At least you don’t have to hear Audrena complain about me during your daily lunch runs!!   Thank you for your friendship and generous donation to the WWP!
(It's officially HOT!  I swap out my bandana for my Sahara hat.  This thing is fantastic!) 12:35

Mile 18 - The return of Twinkies.  I cannot wait to have one.
(S-Cap salt tabs, I take one every hour after about 11:00AM.  Took them about every 40 minutes in through the afternoon) 11:20

Mile 19 - Donna Jacob my fellow 50 Stater and Marathon Maniac.  Always fun and smiling and have been an inspiration to follow in the completion of her 50 States journey and 100 marathon finishes.  Thank you for your friendship and your generous donation to the WWP. 11:57

Mile 20 - The Hat!  We need to go after this Nanny Goat race.  Wet Pastrami Fries (best kept secret) with Orange Bang baby!
("I am 20% done!" I think to myself, oh God...) 11:50

Mile 21 - Melissa Tellez Seifen.  It is awesome to reconnect with you after all these years.  You are doing a great job raising a beautiful family.  Thanks for your support and generous donation.
(Buying these Dirty Girl gaiters for this race was one of the best decisions ever!  There is so much dust, rocks, and stuff on this course!  Anyone thinking about running Nanny NEEDS to get some.) 12:01

Mile 22 - Christopher McDougall ‘s “Born to Run.”  The book that introduced me to chia seeds, barefoot running, and (much more on) running.  Awesome story that provided many hours of entertainment.
(beginning to feel anxious to have my family here.  My food and water on hand are getting low and the rest was in the car off course) 12:19

Mile 23 - Gail Peter Wong.  My gun toting, right-wing loving, bald headed friend.  It’s funny how different yet similar we are after all these years.  I think the best thing we both did for ourselves is finding beautiful, smart, and strong women as our wives.  Thanks for your friendship and the generous donation to the WWP. 12:33

Mile 24 - Linsanity.  An inspiration that an average person can do great things.  A story about believing in yourself and not giving up.  Fingers crossed that the story continues…
("I am almost 1/4 done!"  I think to myself, oh God...) 12:41

Mile 25 - Christopher Bielinski who I met in El Paso in the freezing cold marathon start.  Nicest man who saved me (my nipples to be exact) with 2 band-aids pre-race that morning .  Thank you for your more than generous donation to the WWP.  I hope we will cross paths on the road again.
(Other runners are having veggie burger!?  Amazing what the organizers are offering in terms of food and drink!) 12:07

Mile 26 - My P.E teachers Mr. Chew and Mr. Santana from Macy.  Both taught me and the other boys many life lessons besides sports from sports.
(Marathon Done! Three more to go!) 13:46

Mile 27 - The feeling of awesomeness after a run in 90 degree weather or down-pouring rain.
(Audrena and the kids arrive.  I am relieved!  I immediately "order/ask" her to make me some food as I pass them.  Then immediately felt bad for not being nicer) 12:04
Greeting from the family with signs!


Mile 28 - Kia Running & Walking club.  Looking at the progress every individual have made through the last several years inspires me to reach for my best.  Thank you all very much. 16:35

Mile 29 - Bridgette Adams, who I met through the Kia Running Club.  Although I don’t know Bridgette very well, I do know that besides being a kick ass runner, she is beautiful in person and in spirit.  Thank you very much for your support and generous donation to the WWP! 12:27
(Visit from my best friends Ducky & Sharon!)


Mile 30 - Dr. Albert Saisho for making the proper diagnosis in 2006.  Thank you…
(I make my first sock and shoe change of the day.  I am amazed at how dirty my feet and toes are from the dust!  The KT tape is holding up on the left foot but I am afraid to see what hides underneath. 15:24

Mile 31 - Dr. Herbert Lee for taking care of me since.
(pain from left foot is back, take my second Aleve, what happened to the 12 hour effectiveness?) 14:44

Mile 32 - My torn Achilles as a blessing.  Without it I may not have turned to running.
(Magic's number!) 20:40

Mile 33 - California Beach Sushi.  Can we go tonight?
(Kareem's number!  My favorite player and number of all time.  Yes, I was a Laker fan once upon a time...  I am 1/3 done!)13:21

Mile 34 - Lance Armstrong.  For reminding me that no man should be idolized.  If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is.
(Visit from Ben & Julia!) 16:02
The Chans visit Nanny


Mile 35 - Beverly and Derek Kishida who are the nicest and most grounded people we know.  Thank you for your encouragement and generous donation to the WWP.
(Sharing a mile with my 9 year old son was uplifting)14:35

Mile 36 - Overuse of the word warrior.
(Its about 3:00PM and I am chatting with other runners about why the sun isn't setting fast enough)15:53

Mile 37 - Overuse of the word hero.
(A few miles with Audrena, she told me "you are going to do this, I have no doubt")17:00

Mile 38 - Being a parent is harder than this race.18:54

Mile 39 - Joshua Holmes (AKA Mr. Run It Fast http://runitfast.com/) .  I met Joshua at the Run Like the Wind Marathon in Santa Monica as he passed me MANY times on the looped course.  Thank you for the great advice and encouragement for the 100 mile race.  Love the Run It Fast philosophy.
(Joshua is kicking ass and I've lost count of how many times he has lapped me) 14:43

Mile 40 - Living in Irvine, CA.  The most beautiful city, with perfect weather, and beautiful trails.  There is no other place I’d rather call home. 13:35
Sharing a pop with my boy


Mile 41 - Vibram Five Fingers.  They rock.  They work.  Period.
(Around here I hit my fist wall.  It wasn't the kind of wall I encountered in marathons where it hits you suddenly.  Rather, it was like a quicksand that takes you down slowly where doubts of not finishing began to creep in.  Cramps and pain began to set in and you think about how many more miles there are to run.  All of a sudden 50 seem like a respectable number to stop... I began to understand what Katrina had told me) 13:39

Mile 42 - Arrogant mother f*ckers.
(Seriously, why am I doing this) 12:49

Mile 43 - Coconut water.  So good.
(My co-worker and dear friend Richard arrives.  He rescued me from the quicksand.  Richard ran the next 10 miles with me!  "why are you running these uphills?" "I didn't even notice it!?"  "Look at the experienced runners like the Jester, see where they run and where they walk" Richard was right, with his observations we changed our run walk strategy and it gave me a much needed boost) 18:23

Mile 44 - My Garmin Forerunners.  Hard to put you down. 14:21

Mile 45 - Boston marathon 2013.  Reminder to live, run, and never back down from evil. 14:01

Mile 46 -Boston marathon.  ONE DAY!
(Its beginning to cool and my spirits are lifting) 14:15

Mile 47 - People who front religion like Dean, who coached my son’s basketball team so that his sons can shoot the ball on every possession.  A good reminder that claiming to be religious does not make anyone a good person. 22:22

Mile 48 - Lowlife bosses like Ed Lowe.  A scumbag of a boss I had in my early 20s who made it a point to make each of our day as miserable as his. 13:40

Mile 49 - Idiots who talk too much.  I will refrain from naming my current co-workers. 20:02

Mile 50 - Richard Yiap.  My running partner.  Thank you for running with me throughout this last year.  Your encouragement and words of wisdom has helped me grow as a runner and as a person. 16:20
Richard and me at mile 50

Mile 51 - Mike Laity (aka Yoda).  Bad ass runner.  Thank you for the time we spent running together.  You pushed me to be a better runner.  You are missed on these trails every day.  Looking forward to Montana in July!
(Yeah!  counting down!  49 to go!) 15:22

Mile 52 - My foam roller.  I hate you.  I love you.
(Richard's last lap with me.  I tell myself I will finish this race.  I just ran 2 marathons, Im not letting that go to waste) 14:43

Mile 53 - Howard Choi who I met in El Paso.  Thanks for all the encouragement on tackling the ultra distance.
(Its completely dark.  Out comes the headlamp.  Pray that I don't break my ankle) 20:18

Mile 54 - Thank you Lara “running fox” Michelle, fellow MM for encouraging each other as we started thinking and tackling the ultra distance around the same time.  Awesome job in completing your 100!
(I realize it has passed the 12 hour mark and the field and course had thinned out significantly)23:19

Mile 55 - Whiners.  Shut up.
(Double nickel baby!)15:12


Mile 56 - Vinay, who decided that he would run a marathon and went out and did it.  That’s the spirit I love to see in new runners!  Thanks for pacing me at NG! 17:54

Stacey and Vinay who paced me for 14 miles!!

Mile 57 - Stacey, the running fairy, and future marathoner!  Thanks for pacing me at NG100.  I am glad to have your company and support at Kia!  Best of luck to you and Vinay at the SD marathon. 18:00
Tinker Bell pushing me ahead

Mile 58 - People who say “run Forest run.”  It stopped being funny years ago.
(Sensing more pain from left foot, put off more Aleve as long as I can) 24:14

Mile 59 - Bacon.  For making everything better. 20:15

Mile 60 - Egg on top.  For making everything better.  Why do you think I run?
(Another dose of Aleve, now pain in both feet.  A second sock and shoe change.  I decided to strip the KT tape as the corners began to curl.  Not good.  Left foot is swollen.  Forge on) 21:04

Mile 61 - Hyper-active people.  It’s not you, it’s me.  I can’t keep up.  Please chill.
(I don't know if its mental or real but the Aleve kicks in fast) 23:44

Mile 62 - 50 States Marathon Club.  I am SO that glad I joined the group to chase the dream.  Met amazing people and seen beautiful places big and small.  Turnaround (State #25 - Montana) is just around the corner. 20:03
Visit from our best friends Jay & Jen @ mile 62
Mile 63 - Why is cardio so important?  Because its rule #1! 17:41

Mile 64 - Marathon Maniacs - a group of crazy people like me.  While we are a diverse bunch, we share the love for running and a perspective that others (the normals) do not have.  I especially appreciate all of the cool Maniacs I’ve met.  Even to those I’ve not spoken to, those “go Maniac” sound offs on the routes of the many marathons have all helped me to each finish line. 31:22

Mile 65 - This video to explain the above. 21:12

Mile 66 - Excuses.  Save them.  I don’t need them. 17:53

Mile 67 - People who say they are going to “work up to it.” I say, just do it. 25:32


Mile 68 Ed “the Jester” Ettinghausen.  Ultra veteran who was kind enough to offer his advice and encouragement starting with my first back-to-back marathon, then the 12 hour ultra in Taiwan, and then for the Nanny.  Thank you. 17:43

Mile 69 - “Running on the Sun: The Badwater 135.”  Strangely watching this documentary about the toughest footrace in the world where people vomit and lose toenails didn’t discourage me from the ultra world; it inspired me. 21:18

Mile 70 - Running Troops.  I’ll do my best to live up to “To inspire, to challenge, and to serve.”  Thank you for your generous contribution to the WWP!
(Last lap with Vinay and Stacey.  I hope I was able to communicate my appreciation sufficiently.  They insisted on staying but I said my good-byes.  Time to brace the darkness alone) 18:00

Mile 71 - Waking up at 1, 2, or 3 AM on Sat.  Most difficult part of the weekend long run.
(Made the decision to take a shower.  Best 20 minutes I spent the whole night.  With new clothes, socks, shoes, and lubrication, I feel a major lift in my spirits and a second wind) 37:45

Mile 72 - Tony Ngo.  Aka Uncle “toe-knee” aka Tony the Tiger.  Thanks for coming through once again.  Thanks for your friendship and support.
(Tony Ngo helped me with food and water so that Audrena could get some shut-eye.  You are awesome NGO!) 16:38

Mile 73 - Pete Mingwah.  Thank you for inspiring me to run this race and to live life to its fullest.  "No pacers needed, Nor-Cal's in the house." is what you said to me in our last communication about Nanny.  Your passing was the final straw to my decision to run this race.  RIP. 17:53

Mile 74 - Charlene Ragsdale.  Thank you for all your support, encouragement, and being a sounding board for everything from running to raising kids.  What I love most about you is your compassionate but yet no nonsense personality.  As real as real gets.
(One marathon to go.  I do that every weekend.  Lets do this!) 15:05

Mile 75 - A few friends that we lost touch with.  You know who you are.  We hope you are well.
(I say to myself I've got a 1/4 to go.  I must finish this.  The Korean cup-o-noodle was heavenly) 18:33

Mile 76 - My stall-mates.  The words of encouragement prior to and during the race will never be forgotten. 20:38
Mitch, Katrina, Joshua, Colleen, and me


Mile 77 - Terri Perez, fellow Trooper.  Your encouragement meant the world to me in the late part of this race.  15:44

Mile 78 - Reaching taper weeks.  One of the best feelings in the world.
(whoo, dark brown pee, thats a first) 16:03

Mile 79 - Breaking down during taper week.  One of the worst feelings in the world. 18:06

Mile 80 - "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift." - Steve Prefontaine
(My wonderful wife shares the next 4 miles with me in the dark!) 15:14

Mile 81 - "Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death." - Ayn Rand
(I see many runners who decided to call it a night.  Kind of wishing I was one of them.  But I NEED to forge ahead) 17:57

Mile 82 - #JUSTBRINGIT (how I feel before any race.  Ask me at mile 80… #SURVIVE)
(Having company brought me a third wind.  I am feeling well and no cramps since the 30-50s) 18:42

Mile 83 - #RUNMORE!  Thank you Chuck “Marathon Junkie" Engle, champion marathoner in all 50 states for the phrase.  It is the answer to so many question/problems.
(Holy smoke!  a 14:28 mile!)

Mile 84 - Jean Ho.  Thank you for your countless encouragement @ Nanny especially later in the race.  The love and warmth of the ultra community @ Nanny is something I've never experienced in my years of running marathons. 17:02

Mile 85 - Steve Harvey.  Thank you for organizing this wonderful and unforgettable event.  I wish we had more time to chat and perhaps share a beer or two.  I hope Nanny 2013 won't be the last time we cross paths. 17:24

Mile 86 - Tony Nguyen (AKA Endorphin Dude)’s first attempt at Nanny.  This was one of the very first things that inspired me to want to attempt a 100 mile run.  It was impossible not to be inspired when you see someone leaving it all on the course. 18:22

Mile 87 - Ducky & Jay.  I think our friendship doesn’t need much more explanation.  If ever there was family beyond blood, it would be our families.  Ducky, your donation to the WWP was more than generous!!  OMG! 20:09

Mile 88 - Christina Liu, my little sister who is a grown woman today.  She’s had the courage to do what she’s wanted and be who she wanted to be.  Continue to be you and don’t let them get you down.  Keep it New York.
(Only a half marathon left!) 19:47

Mile 89 - Chevvy.  My brother.  I am very proud of you and what you have been able to accomplish.  The road may not have been easy but you’ve definitely grown from the kid I met years ago to the man that we see today.
(Its been 24 hours since I started running.  I made the 86 mile minimum cut off required at 24 hours.  I am doing the math in my mind.  I think I am safe to finish under the 28 hour cut-off...  unless something catastrophic happens...) 15:41

Mile 90 - My grandma who I miss dearly.  It was only the times I spent with her as a kid that I truly felt spoiled.  I hope you are proud to see the man I am today from above. 17:01

Mile 91 - Mom, who has endure the many struggles in her life.  Then she kicked cancer twice.
(I NEED to maintain a 20 minute mile to complete this mission is ALL I can think of.  I've come too far) 17:50
Mile 90!
Mile 92 - Being a fat kid.  Although looking at photos I was never really a fat kid as I was told so. 18:37

Mile 93 - I was beaten but never broken.
(I am on an island.  There are fewer and fewer runners on the course.  At the "U-turn from hell" part of the course, I don't think I've ever felt so alone.  The death march continues)  16:43

Mile 94 - "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth." - Ayn Rand
(just one foot in front of the other.  Just end the pain) 18:10

Mile 95 - Learning to live in the moment.
(Longest 10K in my life) 18:40

Mile 96 - Learning to appreciate the good things in life.
(I hear the eruptions of cheers from the barn as other runners are obviously finishing their 100th mile.  I am broken.  I feel envy, desperation, pain, near joy..  I think this suffering is strangely peaceful.  The sun is back up for just another day) 20:02



Mile 97 - Seeking emptiness.  I wanted to know if I can give everything I had physically and emotionally and I wanted to know that feeling of being without burden.  
(I think I found it in these last few miles.  For moments, I felt no competitiveness, no rage, and no joy.  Just moving forward...) 20:13

Mile 98 - This mile is for Athan.  I love you kid even though you drive me completely insane at times.  The brightest little boy with endless promise.  I see so much of myself (good and bad) in you and I want nothing but to guide you through what I’ve been through.  You might not understand or fully comprehend our little adventure here today, but I hope it left an impression on you for all the good it represents to me.
(Tony Nguyen found me on the course and paced me through to the end.  Tony, you are the embodiment of goodness in the running community.  Pacing me, a stranger to the very end...  I'm babbling to him and his positive spirits lifts me enough to keep moving forward on the longest 5K in my life) 21:31

Mile 99 - This mile is for Ayn.  As clever and as stubborn as your big brother.  Know that daddy loves you and will always be there for you.  You and your brother bring me endless joy…  when you are good! 
(Tony Nguyen tells me I am a rock star, funny I didn't feel like one at all...) 21:12

With the Tonies, Dennis, and Athan

Mile 100 - I dedicate this mile to my crew chief, my partner, my beautiful wife who had always been my biggest supporter in life and became my biggest supporter in running.  Thank you for being supportive of my crazy goals and having more confidence in my than I did for myself.  This would not be possible without you being there for the months before and the 27:32:12 during the race. 24:12

(I have with me in my entourage a real life super hero (E-Dude Tony), Ms. Run-it-Fast (Katrina), Audrena, Athan, Dennis and Tony Ngo for this final lap around the Nanny Goat 100 course.  To be honest I don't remember too clearly all that was said during the walk.  I do remember rounding the "cone of death" at the dreadful u-turn for the last time...  I asked Athan to turn around and gave it the double finger salute...



As we round the goat pen and toward the finish at the barn, Tony yells "100 mile finisher coming through!"  Athan is holding me up for these final steps to the finish line.  Cowbells go off and the volunteers, remaining ultra runners/supporters cheer, and I am fighting back my tears... (finish video here)


Looking up on the screen to see 100 next to my name

I am a buckle holder

I am finally a 100 mile finisher.  I hug Audrena and I tell her "WE DID IT" and all the pain and emotions hit me at once.  Relief, pride, joy, disbelief....




Truly an experience I will never forget!


one race, one mile, and one step at a time...

Jeff

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

An(other) Open Letter to Lance Haters



This has been a very difficult week for me is an understatement.

Lance Armstrong has been a hero to me from the time I learned of his story of defeating cancer, his 7 tour wins, and through his comeback attempt just a few years back.  I have not consider a man to be an idol since I was a kids in grade school.

My mother survived cancer twice in the last 6 years and I wear this yellow bracelet on my wrist proudly almost every day.  This bracelet symbolizes courage, inspiration, hope, and yeah a big fuck you to not only cancer but also all the things in life that may seen insurmountable.  I've had this bracelet while sitting in the hospital with mom after her surgeries and I've had this bracelet with me as I covered marathons after marathons.

For those who know me personally, you know that I pride myself in being a logical and realistic man.  I am also one who think that there shouldn't be an ocean of grey when it comes to what is right vs wrong.  You either do the right things or you don't.  And, I'll admit, I tend to think of the worst in people.  But I've always kept that small glimmer of hope for mankind in my heart.  I've always kept that little space inside for Lance against all the allegations he has faced in the past and  particularly this year.  If anyone deserved the benefit of the doubt, Lance did....

I was the first to discount the allegations brought forth by the USADA.  It seemed like a tired witch hunt against my personal hero.  It seemed like an attack against everything I believed in...  keeping hope, defeating the impossible, LIVING STRONG.  I argued against friends about the fairness of the USADA process and the number of tests Lance has passed in the decades he has raced.  I argued about the merit of the Livestrong foundation and the good it has done for cancer survivors.  But as the weeks have gone by, as more evidence presented, and as more former teammates testified, I've been forced to evaluate my position. I am forced to look at this objectively and put aside the very strong feelings I've developed about this yellow bracelet.  It breaks my heart to say that I think that yes, it is most likely that Lance Armstrong cheated the sport of cycling.

Others supporters say they do not care whether or not Lance cheated.  They believe that all the positives of the Livestrong foundation outweigh the possibility that he may have cheated.  Stuart Scott, cancer survivor tweets his support of Livestrong despite the allegations and even if they are true.

To me, its not that simple.  I do care.  I care about whether or not Lance cheated.  I care about the character of someone that I've come to consider a hero.  AND, I have a difficult time separating Lance from Livestrong.  To me, the two are intertwined so deeply that its not as easy as to say, "I can continue to support the brand even if Lance cheated."  It doesn't work that way... and its not something I can resolve so quickly.

What I've learned through this is that I will never put another human being on that pedestal again.  Lance Armstrong, like the rest of us is flawed.  None of us are perfect.  My hope for humanity has dimmed further (if that is even possible)...  all I can hope for and work on in the future is my own conduct and legacy in life.  I hope to live up to all those things once represented by the yellow bracelet in some way.  Maybe I've looked for heros in the wrong places.  Maybe, the hero that we are all looking for is within ourselves.  For that, the yellow band stays on my wrist...  not only as a reminder of what is possible but a big continued fuck you to cancer, hardship in life, and most of all, the haters who will continue to hate...


one race, one mile, one step at a time,

Jeff

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Open letter to the Lance haters

“To all the cynics, I'm sorry for you, ... I'm sorry you can't believe in miracles.” - Lance Armstrong

So this week began with the 60 minutes piece of the continued witchhunt of Lance by former teammate Tyler Hamilton.

It’s pretty well known to everyone that I am a big fan of Lance and Livestrong. It would be hard for you to find me without my yellow bracelet. I think what Lance was able to accomplish as an athlete was incredible. But living in an era where we have learned to accept the embarrassing, immoral, and self absorbed behaviors of professional athletes, incredible athletic feats alone no longer inspire admiration from me. Rather, it is what Lance was able do in defeating cancer and in raising awareness and cancer research funding that is really inspirational. He is the symbol of hope for all who has been affected by this disease. Lance has shown us that we can not only survive cancer but we can kick this disease in the ass and win.

Did he cheat? My guess is that it will never be proven, but the accusation will continue forever. “What if they prove he is dirty?” The answer is that I would be heart-broken. I may lose faith in humanity forever. But in my heart I believe Lance is clean. And that is something of a rarity for a cynic like me.

I am not going to devote any time to debate or dispute Lance’s innocence or the claims brought forth by his former teammates. I will refrain from pointing out the credibility of “witnesses” and the accusations that have been thrown around. What I want to do is to call out the hypocrisy of some who has come after Lance. Some of these people with loudest opinion against Lance are the biggest fans of the likes of Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, or Mike Vick. So I ask this, why are you a fan of say a cheat, (alleged) rapist, or animal killer/convicted criminal? I have been mild amused to wild bewildered with the responses. “Because he plays for my home town.” “Because the girl was just a gold digger.” “Because its just sex.” “Because look at what he has done since coming back.”

REALLY? I know people who put their children in the jersey of the above named. I won’t. I wouldn’t want my children to make Kobe Bryant money if he/she had to become a Kobe Bryant person. So I am not a fan of these guys. But hey that’s just me. I tend to take things too personally for my own good. I don’t know Kobe Bryant or Mike Vick personally but I have seen and heard all of the on and off court behavior to know that these guys are assholes. But beyond all that, what have they done with their success (on and off the court/field) in comparison to Lance Armstrong? Nothing. Not comparable. Not in the same universe. So when you come after my guy with your accusations, I am going to call out your hypocrisy.

Lance is dirty = “multiple sources”
Kobe is innocent = “he said / she said”

Lance left his wife = “after all these years”
Eagle CO = “gold digger.” “all the ball players do it (sleep around)”

That sounds to me like a lot of bullshit.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Everyone is doing it...

Running Marathons that is!

Lance Armstrong, 2006 (2:59:36) and 2007 (2:46:43) New York City Marathon
William Baldwin, New York City Marathon 3:24:29
John Edwards, Marine Corps Marathon 3:30:18
Michael Dukakis, Boston Marathon 3:31:00
Natalie Morales, New York City Marathon (3:31:02) - I have no idea who she is
George W. Bush, 1993 Houston Marathon (3:44:52)
Ed Norton, 2009 New York City Marathon (3:48:01)
Anthony Edwards, 2003 Chicago Marathon (3:55:40) and 2009 NYC Marathon (4:08:20)
Will Ferrell, 2003 Boston Marathon (3:56:12)
Sarah Palin, 2005 Humpy's Marathon (3:59:36)
Bobby Flay, 2010 New York City Marathon (4:01:37) I am impressed!
Sean Combs (P. Diddy) 2003 New York City Marathon (4:14:54)
Alanis Morissette, 2009 New York City Marathon (4:28:45)
Oprah Winfrey, 1994 Marine Corps Marathon (4:29:15)
Lisa Ling, Boston Marathon 4:34:18
Al Gore, Marine Corps Marathon 4:58:25
Subway Jared, 2010 NYC Marathon 5:13
Katie Holmes, 2007 New York City Marathon (5:29:58)
Mario López, 2002 Boston Marathon (5:41:42)