The Chinese Dad and Running Kids

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html

I am sure some of you have already read the above article. It has certainly create a storm of controversy and debate over many Facebook pages. Being Chinese and having been raised in "the Chinese way" but raising two kids in America and living "the American life," made this article particularly difficult to process. Looking at how I am raising my two kids, I definitely see more of the "Chinese parent" in me than the "Western parent." The article has led to some self reflection about about my parenting style and raised the question of "am I pushing the kids too much?"

Take today for example, if anyone and witness the run with me and A at the track, they most definitely would have called child services. My son A is seven years old and has been running the track with me since he was four. While I have no real aspiration for him to have a track/field scholarship in college (he's got my slow genes after all), he is a fairly athletic kid. Last year at the OC kids marathon, he ran a 9:46 mile. Not bad! I was very proud of his time (while being astonished at his classmate's winning time of 7:02). He surpass his race time last year during one of our runs with a PR of 9:40... My offer to A was simple, run faster than 9:40 then he can have a pack of Pokemon cards...

So we start running today and we are rounding the first lap at 10:40 pace. I tell him "you'll need to pick it up A or you are not going to be close" "But I am running as hard as I can" "No you are not" "But you said to start easy then run finish strong" "but you need to pick it up" "But I am (now in a whining voice)" "we just hit 0.5Ms and you are at 10:20, you need to pick it up or you are not going to do it" "stop teasing me dad" "I am not teasing you, stop whining and pick it up" "I am running as hard as I can dad..."

We finish that first mile at 10:30. As we finish, he was near tears. I said to him "go sit down over there and pout, or play by the swing, b/c I am going to run some more... B/C there is no whining in running... you are NOT running as hard as you can b/c I've seen you run much faster and you are not doing that kid." "I want to run some more" "nah, you just go sit and pout" "I want to run!...." So I take off and he follows, running past me. We finish that second mile at 9:28... he was so happy. I was very happy and proud.

Am I pushing him? Every day! I am trying to teach the kid that whining and crying is not acceptable and he must push himself to achieve things! Am I pushing him too hard? I don't think so. Am I wrong? As we walked home, I explained to him what the expression "sand-bagging" meant... as he was clearly doing on the first mile. I will not and cannot allow him to grow up thinking that is ok.
So the next time you see a father pestering his son to go faster on their run in the neighborhood... know that its just this pedestrian runner trying to do the right thing.

One race, one mile, and one step at a time,

1/17/11 3M - Vibrams
1030/928/657